You become what you love
by animeatemyfeels
Summary: Female SI-OC. A suicidal girl with so much knowledge of Naruto that it physically impeded her life just got reincarnated into Naruto. Guess who's going to fuck up the plot? Science-Bros!Orochimaru, Blushy-but-cunning!Minato, Badass!Mikoto, Tiny-baby!Itachi. Lots and lots of swearing! No pairings yet. Reviews are love!
1. Prologue: Why The Actual Fuck

Hey I made a new Fanfic about Naruto because reasons. TRIGGER WARNINGS SUICIDE, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, BLOOD, GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF WAR, RAPE, AND TORTURE. You have been warned. Also this is a bullshit crack story where my character has the magic powers to persuade just about anyone to be friends like Naruto. Enjoy~ DISCLAIMER: KISHIMOTO OWNS ALL NARUTO CHARACTERS I JUST LIKE TORTURING THEM YAY PSYCHOANALYSIS

* * *

The funny thing about living is that no matter how hard one tries, they will always die in the end. Some people live like there about to die and some live like their already dead. I wish I could say that I was one of those who lived their life happily instead of forcing themselves to lie to the world with a smile. I don't want this life to be a lie.

...(^-^)...

Oh yeah that's right I died, didn't I tell you? Well it wasn't pleasant, but suicide never is. I pulled a Shisui, funny name 'death water' oh the irony, I jumped off a cliff near my home town and drowned. On purpose of course. I used to think I did it because I was bored but really it was because I was so immensely broken that I couldn't bear to even function anymore. But enough of that, let me tell you what it was like to be a fetus.

Warm, so warm like you could feel the love of your mother wrapped around you, almost visible to your developing eyes. Really it feels so good and now I know why babies cry when they are ripped from that wonderful place. I cried, long and loud. I came out kicking and screaming because it was _cold_ and I was _so scared_. I had no idea what was happening. Even though I had a long 3 months to figure it out I don't think it really clicked until I was out of the womb.

One of the first things I hear is a woman screaming and fucking giants cooing all too close to my fucking face. It was the equivalent of your annoying flat mate banging slamming all the cabinet doors open at 4am on a Saturday. I can't even see yet so my eye lids are basically glued shut and scared the piss out of me, literally. The next thing I try is weakly trying to grab hold of anything near me so that the goddamn giant that were carrying me around don't drop me. Then I get jostled as giant number 1 places me into _a pair of ripped as fuck arms_ which were also hard as fuck. My squishy little baby brain was not appreciating the iron bars it had been placed on. Oddly enough though the smell of the person seemed really familiar like when I was in the womb. It smelled like ashes and pear blossoms, which was a super weird combination. Next thing you know I'm suckling a boob and ready to pass the fuck out.

...(^-^)...

The funny thing about being a baby is time. Like it passes really frikin fast, like a bullet train. On second you could be in one person's arms and the next you could be in a crib. Really fucking weird. Also your vocal cords are not developed at all so the best you can do is swear in your head and make screeching sounds. Like imagine being 3 weeks old and trying to do anything other than make screeching sounds. You literally cannot. Anyway, after a little while I can finally open my eyes and what's the fucking first thing I see? A giant ass human with the prettiest damn black eyes I have ever seen. Like they reflect everything and are they sparkling?

Apparently this is my mother. She has long swaying, blue-black hair down to her butt and pretty black eyes that I can swear turn red sometimes but might only be a trick of the light, and _she's fucking insane_. Also she's apparently Mikoto Uchiha, as in the matriarch of the Uchiha clan aka Susanoo-no-Mikoto. And even if I wasn't a complete Narutotard if the uchiwa literally everywhere didn't clue me in then everyone's favorite red head Kushina motherfuckin Uzumaki did. Seriously I woke up one day and all I see is red hair and violet eyes full of sparkles and I actually shit myself because I am a baby after all. Anyway that's how I learned that Kushina is my godmother and apparently I am an acceptable brat because I tried to bean her in the face with my favorite stuffed snake toy upon waking up.

That's beside the point my mother is literally insane. She left a kunai in reach of my crib, used kanton to light a fire like 5 feet from where I was playing, and practiced shuriken-jutsu while leaving me alone for hours. Also the Japanese language is bullshit. There are so many different meanings for one word its hard to know what the hell they are even talking about.

Although to be fair my first few weeks are spent shitting, eating, and a fuck ton of sleeping. I'm a fucking baby after all, it's what we do. This is how I spend my next year, I eat, play with Orochi-chan my favorite stuffed snake, sleep, attempt to learn Japanese in my waking hours, play with Kushina's hair, and try not to get killed again by my crazy mom. Yeah you heard that right, I named my stuffed snake Orochi-chan. Did you know Orochimaru is still in Konoha? I feel bad for the guy I mean it's pretty much canon that he was ordered by Danzo to do those tests and he is the only loyal Sannin still in Konoha. His teammates abandoned him first and I really love the fact that he is into science. Like the dude almost singlehandedly brought about the frikin scientific revolution so yeah I like him a little bit. And as soon as I can take more than a few wobbly steps I am so seeking him out to be science bros, the Uchiha can suck a fat one. Well most Uchiha anyway, Mikoto is cool and so is Fugu-face, that's what I call my new dad. I think this life is already shaping up to be more fun than my last one. Now, I think I'm going to take a nap and plot… Well what did you expect! Of course I'm going to change the plot for my name is Seika Uchiha and Kisimoto can go suck a big one because I'm in charge now!

* * *

HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE IT! PLEASE REVIEW I REALLY REALLY WANT TO KNOW HOW I'M DOING!


	2. Chapter 1: In which I fangirl, hard

Ch 2:

HOLY SHIT I DID NOT EXPECT THIS TO BE POPULAR I JUST POSTED THIS LAST NIGHT?! THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS THEY ARE THE REASON I'M POSTING TONIGHT! Sorry for all the mistakes! All reviews are answered at the end!

* * *

Ok I lied. I can't even walk for like 30 minutes without being tired, basically I can do jack shit. I'm still less than a year old so all I can do is plot. As of this moment I am being carried around in a sling on Mikoto's back and her long ass hair keeps getting in my face. The only good thing about this situation is that I'm _finally_ getting out of that stupid, traditional Japanese house we live in. I swear its god awful; the shoji screen breaks every 5 seconds if you just lightly tap it… ok maybe I am freakishly strong in this life but I'm blaming it on my useless baby limbs! And it's super drafty so my nose is always cold and the worst part is the bugs that just jump in the house if you leave the door open to long. I shuddered from my position on Mikoto's back. I hate bugs.

Anyway, I'm finally getting to see Konoha and damn the anime did not do this place justice. First of all, the Uchiha district isn't a goddamn district. Only like 8 other families live next to the clan head, i.e. Mikoto and Fugaku. The rest of the Uchiha live in the village in the various districts, including the civilian district. What? Did you think all Uchiha are some kind of over powered super ninjas? Nah that's not how genetics work, plus they have their own minds even if the Uchiha love to yak about their awesome super ninja eyes(cough, the Uchiha elders, cough). There are a shit ton of civilians by the way, like the majority of people in this goddamn city (because let's be real it's fucking huge) are civilians with little to no ninja training. Sure some might be failed genin who decided not to join the genin corps but most just wanted to try out cool ninja stuff until they were cut from the academy. Also the buildings are huge, with a weird mix of western and eastern architecture. For example, the Hokage tower can't decide if it wants to be a Japanese castle or a western sky scraper and it kinda looks like bb-8 with a skirt on.

Also just the people are weird, with a capital w. I thought in the Naruto world it would be odd to see people with bright orange, red, green, and even pink hair. Apparently I was hella wrong. I swear I don't know what the hell these people have been eating but some of them are like neon signs and its fucking magnificent. I wish my hair was like that, it would be so bomb I could distract my enemies with my flashy hair and nail 'em in the spleen. Then again I am an Uchiha so that would just give people more to talk about the bastard child of the Uchiha matriarch or some shit.

….(^-^)…..

Oh who's that my mom is talking to?

"Hello Minato. I see you finally get a break from training." Mikoto says to the man before us.

Yellow hair, blue eyes, sunny smile. HOLY CUM SOAKED TOILETS ITS MINATO. Holy shit, as soon as I realize who it is, I start wiggling around in my sling so I can see the legend that is Minato 'yellow flash' Namikaze. Seriously this is the dude with enough chakra to stop a tailed beast bomb and still keep living until he has to sacrifice himself. Suffice to say I was properly fangirling. I got an irritated mom look from Mikoto though, not a fun look. But it was totally worth it to see his _bright yellow hair_ , Kami-sama it is literally blinding, and his deep blue eyes that look kind but holy shit are they dark, up close. It was magical, I blew a spit bubble at him, he looked vaguely uncomfortable. Magical. Next thing I know Kushina shows up in a cloud of ninja bullshit and leaves and I am left staring at her like some kind of idiot. Damn I really need to start doing chakra exercises. Then Kushina starts squealing about her cute goddaughter. Then accuses Minato of corrupting me like his pervy sensei and I let out a delighted squeal as she starts cursing up a storm.

"I bet you were actually reading that pervy book instead of training ya shrimp" Kushina says tauntingly to Minato.

Mikoto looks vaguely displeased but also exasperated like she is used to it. She keeps going until Minato is a blushing mess, and only stops when Mikoto bonks her on the head with shopping bag. I also add on to this by hitting her in the face with my loyal Orochi-chan. How she did that while holding me in one hand and several other things in the other I will never know.

After a while I get sleepy and nod off to a half aware state. I can feel the warm chakra's of Minato and Kushina receding as Mikoto moves away from them. Usually I would have been more hyper but it had been a long day and all the sights and smells have gotten to me. That is, until I feel Mikoto tense up ever so slightly. This wakes me instantly, not only because her back becomes like a metal slab, but also because I need to be alert in a threatening situation. Now that I'm up I keep trying to peek over Mikoto's shoulder to see what's going on. It doesn't really work because her shoulder is like a mountain and I'm real fucking short. In the distance my mind faintly register's that there are only 3 heads on the Hokage monument but my eyes are on the men across from us. My mind goes blank as I see him for the first time, Orochimaru in his prime looking fine. Damn I must be going insane if I'm rhyming. It takes me a few more seconds to reign myself, but by that time Mikoto's already moving. Knowing that I might never get this chance again I take in a deep breath.

"KAA LOOK IT OROCHI-CHAN!" I yell so loudly I'm sure the hokage can hear me.

Instantly the square becomes deadly silent as everyone tries to find who just yelled that incredibly offensive statement. A certain pair of gold eyes are frozen in shock and rage. I can feel Mikoto tensing further beneath me. I close my eyes and try to memorize his chakra signature for later, it feels cool and scaly and tastes faintly of medicinal herbs. When I open my eyes people are slowly moving out of the way of the snake. His molten, gold eyes are firmly latched onto me and Mikoto. While I can't see it, I know Mikoto has put on her Uchiha Matriarch look™.

"Hello Orochimaru-sama" Mikoto says, softly, with an incline of her head.

The man looks vaguely amused by this for some reason but I don't have time to ponder this because Orochimaru starts to say something.

"Hello to you as well Mikoto-san. Who might this loud little thing be" he says pleasantly, but with a glint in his eyes.

* * *

 **Hanmac:** aaaaaaaaaaah yesssss thank you! Seriously you are the best and my first reviewer yay!

 **Kassiejean:** I was thinking of doing something like that but I am a girl and I don't really think I can do justice to the trials a transgender character would have to go through. I am also personally struggling with my own idea of what gender I am and I am currently trying to work through the fact that I don't exactly feel like a woman sooooo not going to touch that issue for a loooooooong time. My motto is when in doubt Repress everything! Also Baby!tachi was just too cute to pass up and it wouldn't fit in the timeline and I couldn't change a whole lot if my character was born when Itachi was. Thanks for the review!

 **Athenaincarnate:** Thank you! Yeah I do have quite a few mistakes and errors but I kinda just wrote this at 12am and I was running on some good liquor to even be able to post this! I plan on going over this with a fine comb in the future but right now I don't have the self-confidence to even handle rereading my writing more than once. However, if I ever make mistakes like saying waste when I mean waist PLEASE POINT IT OUT I WILL BE SO ASHAMED IF I EVER MAKE THAT MISTAKE. Thanks for the review I really appreciate it!

Thanks so much for reviewing and all the favs and follows! I didn't expect this to be this popular!


	3. Chapter 2: An Orochimaru Soliloquy

Hey y'all! THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS AND SUPPORT! Welp here's the next chapter and we get to see Orochi-chan~ My fav~ Also I changed the name a bit~

Disclaimer: Not my anime~ But Dear Ramen King how I wish it was so I could fix EVERY GODDAMN PLOT HOLE FOR FUCKS SAKE

* * *

I peek at him shyly, trying to reign in my fangirling.

"Ah this is my first, Seika" Mikoto replies a bit tersely.

"You look like Orochi-chan" I squeak from behind Mikoto's shoulder.

The look he sends me is a beautiful cross between constipated elephant and just-stepped-in-dog-shit. I expect him to hiss at me or give me a glare cold enough to freeze the sun. He does neither. He just blinks and gives me an exasperated look like he's been called Orochi-chan a thousand times.

"And whom might this Orochi-chan be" he asks, quite politely considering I am less than a year old and can barely pronounce words correctly.

I answer by wiggling around my sling, trying to grab my favorite stuffed snake. Finally, I succeeded in getting my prize and proudly show it off to Orochimaru.

"This is Orochi-chan! He's my favorite, but he look sad sometime. So I gotta hug him and he feel better! An' when I sad he hug me an' I feel better!" I explain to him in an excited tone.

Orochimaru just keeps an exasperated look on his face through my entire explanation, his slightly angered look morphing into understanding. When I look him in the eyes I expect them to be cold and calculating. What I actually see is exasperation, and hurt? Yeah, that's definitely hurt. I have seen that expression in so many people's eyes after I talk to them, I know it when I see it. It's really fucking shocking. Like I am so shocked I can't even focus on what I'm saying so my next words just kind of slip out.

"You look like Orochi-chan, look sad like Orochi-chan. Why you sad?" I question with all the bluntness of a kid.

This causes Orochimaru to jerk back, which in ninja terms is like a few millimeters but damn if that isn't an obvious reaction for a ninja. His face instantly blanks, and his eyes shutter. I keep babbling in hopes to spare Mikoto's heart because I can feel as her heart rate increases significantly. Poor woman, I am such a suicidal baby.

"If you sad I let you have Orochi-chan. He make you not sad! But you gotta promise to bring him back! Then we can play" I exclaim with childish glee, noting how Mikoto's heart literally almost stopped.

Orochimaru just looks at me gob smacked, and accepts the toy I am giving to him faintly. Well as faintly as a certified ninja god with a damn good poker face can look gob smacked. Honestly the only thing that gives him away is his chakra, it feels like it's stuttered to a stop and is flowing like syrup in his veins.

….(^-^)….

Orochimaru looks after the pair, still frozen from the encounter. To the innocent bystander it simply looks as if Orcochimaru is plotting, or analyzing the situation coldly. This is as far from the truth that it could be. What he is really feeling is all the pain and loss of losing his team mates all over again.

The anger he feels at that accused name is like no other. The anger at the village, the ignorant fools who thought he would harm a child for such a silly act. The rabble who still looked at him like he was a monster. Orochimaru did what he had to (this is war and war is never kind. He needed that information for Konoha, he did what he had to) and it had allowed them to overtake a Kumo strong hold. But none of that mattered to them, all they saw was an evil snake. His sensei, he sneers at the world, knows of the rumors that spread and even he believes them (He's not evil really, he just wants to be acknowledged, remembered. No one remembered his parents, like they didn't even exist and that makes him afraid) Even though they are at war, no one is there for him, no one to call him Orochi-chan or nag him about eating. They left him (he needed them to tell him he was doing ok that it would get better) and his own teacher didn't trust him.

It would appear the Uchiha matriarch is no different, even though she may be a menace on the battlefield, she is a Yamato nadeshiko in Konoha. That is, unless someone is a threat to her child, if her reaction is anything to go by. And that blasted child, he thinks to himself as he calmly walks down the streets of Konoha. All it takes is one word and he becomes like this. She had ripped a wound he thought buried so deep, like the rest of his emotions, that it would never resurface. The child may be a genius however. The way she spoke, or even the fact that she spoke could classify her as such. She appeared no more than a year old and already she could form coherent words. Yes, Orochimaru thinks, she may be useful later.

Then he smiles to himself, freaking out a fruit vendor, and begins plotting about immortality and sharingan eyes.

* * *

REVIEWS ARE LOVE, REVIEWS ARE LIFE!


	4. Chapter 3: In which Hyuuga's appear

DISCLAIMER NOT MY CHARACTERS EXCEPT FOR SEIKA THE LITTLE SHIT.

THANKS SO MUCH FOR REVIEWING YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT MEANS TO ME! Replies to reviews below!

* * *

After the clusterfuck with Orochimaru, Mikoto decided that I would should be punished via stewing in my own boredom. Basically, she grounded me. I haven't been out of this stuffy old house in weeks. I doubt I will even be let out on my birthday at this rate.

"But Seika" you might ask, "couldn't you sate your boredom by finding out all those dirty little Uchiha secrets"

To which I would respond, "why the fuck am I hearing voices and Fugu-face chakra locked his office after I decided I would attempt to beautify it via glitter from Shina-chan".

Also, I might have fucked up big time because now Mikoto knows I can speak in semi-coherent sentences at 11 months. Now I'm labeled as a goddamn prodigy and after my second birthday I get to start training. That's some crazy shit because your chakra apparently starts developing at 2 years old and its considered fucking insane to train your fucking 2 years old when, ya know, their fucking 2. But, since apparently the Uchiha are all insane, I will start as soon as I can feel my chakra. Which I already can do but I'm not telling anyone that. Like I said before chakra is fucking weird. It feels like water in your veins and tastes like mint, well at least mine does. I may have started doing random chakra exercises after the Orochimaru incident because there is only so much drooling on blocks and almost dying via sharp objects a kid can do.

Unfortunately, Shina-chan, my favorite god mother, is busy, more often than not, because of the rising tension between nations. Now as an avid Naruto fan in my past life I knew more than I cared to admit. Such as Kakashi enjoys miso ramen with eggplant and Uzushiogakure couldn't have fallen so easily because fuinjutsu was literally as close to being a god as you can be. Like real talk, all you need is some ink and chakra and you could seal a fucking bijuu. Every time Shina-chan came near me I could feel Kurama's chakra which was mildly disconcerting because it was like mild killing intent being directed at you.

That's beside the point. I'm bored as fuck and when Seika is bored as fuck the nice Uchiha police get pranked. This time, I'm going to glitterfy all their uniforms so they can lighten the fuck up and become a fully functioning disco ball. I hope their ready for some fun times. I start cackling at the thought and freak out teme #15. Oh, that's right. I now have a full time baby sitter because Mikoto is out training again and I guess she finally read a child rearing book.

"Ehehehe what's so funny now Seika-chan" the nervous man asks me as I evilly arrange my blocks of doom.

I let out a mild bout of killing intent because rabble does not get to be chummy with my awesomeness. The spineless idiot begins to shake, what a waste of a shinobi.

"I m…mean Se…Seika-s…sama" he groveled, literally on his knees.

Absentmindedly, I let up the killing intent. I'm already bored with him, moving on to another rant in my head. Hmmmm, I think Fugu-face deserves another prank. Not for any real reason, I just feel like it today. Suddenly I get a shiver down my spine. Call it a sixth sense but I feel as if something huge is creeping up on me and I'm not about to enjoy it.

…(^-^)….

I hate when I'm right. Apparently Mikoto picked up more than one child rearing book and decided I was being an antisocial little shit. She being the perfect mom decided to invite all the prominent clans of Konoha to my party. Which means that the birthday girl, i.e. me, has to play with 'older' brats who can barely speak. Kill me now.

….(^-^)…..

Today is the day I die, covered in drool, snot, and dirt. I can feel it my bones. As Mikoto picks out my birthday kimono I set my face into that of a person going to war. I could hear the funeral bells ringing now. Smirking, Mikoto gives me a gleeful pat on the head.

"This is going to be fun you know. Soon my little girl with be wooing all the boys and kicking their butts in spars" she says with stars in her eye and is she sparkling.

Damn I need to learn that jutsu, then I could freak out more people. Instantly my mind turns to Guy and Lee. Internally cackling at the thought of making a genjutsu that made you see Guy and Lee everywhere, I get momentarily distracted. This second is long enough for Mikoto to scoop me into her lap and attempt to wrangle my Sasuke-esque hair into something mildly presentable. Because, fucking of course, the clan heads of Konoha are going to be there and a fucking one-going-on-two year old can't look like a child.

"Awwww Sei-kun is pouting~, don't worry dear I'm sure you'll make lots of friends and maybe catch yourself a minion or five" Mikoto rambled on as she yanked the ever loving shit out of my hair.

If possible I pout even harder, which I'm sure just makes me look more adorable. In retaliation, I grab the closest thing to me, conveniently it's the last packet of glitter, and procced to make it rain. Fugaku walked in on us about an hour later, I'm half naked and Mikoto is covered in so much glitter the morning sun has turned her into a disco ball. Fugu-face promptly decided he didn't want anything to do with this and walks out the door immediately.

Soon enough I'm wrangled into a pretty navy and white kimono with red trims and a silver obi, which I would have loved if it were not for the mini Uchiwa's and giant Uchiwa, on the back, printed on it. Seriously you would think that with my adorable features, that I wouldn't have to be branded like cattle. Apparently not. Ugh my life is so hard.

After I had been properly stuffed, primped, and degliterized, Mikoto takes it upon herself to place me safely in a sling and carry me to my doom. Instantly, as there are seals plastering my house, I can feel multiple new chakra signatures and it's kinda overwhelming. Like imagine being able to breath freely and then someone kicks you in the windpipe and now you look and feel like a dying fish. Yeah that's what being able to sense chakra is like with a shit ton of people. Some of the pricks aren't even trying to hide their chakras, assholes. I happen to know that it is considered taboo to release your chakra at a formal gathering. Uncouth pigs, I think as I sniff haughtily. Jashin-sama save me the brainwashing has already begun.

With my piece of shit eyes (at least until I get the sharingan), I can pick out a few brown haired people with triangle tattoos that could only be the Inuzuka clan. That and they smell like dog, don't ask me how I know what they smell like I just do. Next to them I see a clan full of buzzing. Just buzzing. Must be the Aburame's then. And holy shit where those lavender eyed people Hyuuga's?! wtf I thought we hated each other.

Apparently, this isn't the case because one of the brown haired Hyuuga twins break off from the gaggle of Hyuuga's to greet us.

"Ah Mikoto-san it's a pleasure to see you again. We missed you on the battlefield." He said with a twinkle in his eye.

I nearly chock on my spit because did Hiashi stick-up-my-ass Hyuuga just smile. I'm seriously contemplating life right now.

"Hmph I would have still been fighting if it wasn't for one of you silly Hyuuga saying something about pregnant women should not be allowed on the battlefield." Mikoto fired back with a sharply, but not maliciously.

Oh my sweet ramen king no. Are Mikoto Prim-and-Proper Uchiha and Hiashi I'm-a-literal-asshole Hyuuga teasing each other? My entire world is crumbling. I know. I have a crippling brain tumor which is causing me to hallucinate. Yeah that must be it. Because I swear I can hear Mikoto talking about those 'washed up Hyuuga hacks' and how 'those inbred bastards haven't got a strong bone in their body'. So how is it that my 'all Hyuuga's are useless sacks' mother is being friendly with soon to be head of the Hyuuga's?!

"Hm so it would seem. I suppose this is the little miracle baby then" he waved the mild insult with an air of interest.

Right I suppose I should explain the whole Miracle Baby™ thing. The Uchiha are evidently well known for having babies in the spring and summer because of most of the clan having predominately fire nature users. So, if there is a baby born in winter they couldn't possible live up the Uchiha Name™ and they either die or is considered extremely weak by the clan. But oh no, me being me, I had to fuck up that system and be a horrendously strong and prodigious baby. Yeah I fucked up big time with that whole Orochimaru thing. Seriously I couldn't resist; he was right there! Anyway, I'm officially dubbed the Miracle Baby by the Uchiha™. For some reason, all the elders think I'm the second coming of Rikudo Sennin or something. Ugh.

Anyway, I give him a shy smile, gotta work up the cute angle while I can.

"Hi Oji-san…Nice to mewt yu" I say cutely, in my expert opinion.

Hiashi appears unsurprised with my ability to speak, which is a little off-putting. Oh well, his lose.

"Hello little hime" he said with a gentle smile, as if that isn't a punch in the stomach.

Seriously what the fuck this is Hiashi lets-disown-my-daughter-because-we-killed-her-self-esteem Hyuuga. This might prove my theory that Hiashi was the one who was sacrificed to Kumo instead of Hizashi… That makes total sense because, as I peer over Hiashi's shoulder, I can see Hizashi looking at us with a sour face. Ugh I can just tell he's going to be a stick in the mud like Neji was during the first part of Naruto. Oops I zoned out again.

"She seems to process information quite quickly for one her age. And you have already introduced her to chakra I see" Hiashi said with a hint of surprise coloring his tone.

Mikoto raised an eyebrow at him and glanced at me curiously. I looked away sheepishly. I didn't have a lot to do ok! Being a baby is boring when you can barely talk and can't read or write for shit. Plus chakra is fucking amazing it's like being on cocaine but like everything you do is real. Fucking amazing ninja bullshit. Unfortunately, I shouldn't have access to my chakra for another year because apparently, your coils can't handle chakra being molded in your core until you two years old. And even then, its iffy.

"Yes, she has always been in tune with her chakra so we wanted her to know enough as not to hurt herself when she becomes curious" Mikoto said with a hint of pride.

I am not really helping myself keep on the down low with this whole prodigy thing am I?

"Hmm I see" Hiashi hummed, activating his byakugan.

I zoned out for the rest of the conversation because I noticed that we were reaching my doom™. In front of me was the Playpen of All That is Unsanitary and Unholy.

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long I just got kinda lost on the road of life then a black cat crossed my path! Let me know if any words are unfamiliar and if I should be posting the meanings of them at the end!  
**

 **gnomishness:** I have it in my head that the Uchiha's were not all in one compound until after the Kyuubi attack (AK). I think that the majority of Uchiha actually lived among the villagers (including Civilians) because they were the policeman of Konoha a ninja village! Who else is going to stop a domestic violence report? Who is going to save your kids kitten from a tree? Who is going to help your family if a Ninja is threathing you? The Uchiha Police force of course! I think that the Uchiha were forced into a compound by the Hokage *coughDanzocough* because of severe discrimination against them because "the sharingan can control the tailed beast so ooobbbbbviously the Uchihas set loose the Kyuubi". Yep I have Uchiha problems. If there are any other discrepancies let me know (ALSO HIT ME UP IF YOU WANT ME TO EXPLAIN THE UCHIHA DILEMMA IN MORE DETAIL :))! Thanks so much for reviewing I appreciate it!

 **Garden Galaxy:** Thanks for agreeing! Omg I honestly thought people would hate Seika because of how I characterized her! I really want this story to be lighthearted but that might change Idk yet. Thanks so much for reviewing! You're awesome and you should keep reviewing so I know what to do better next time.

 **Guest:** Waaaa! Thanks so much stranger! I really appreciate because I thought this story trope would be kind of a turn off for some people! Thanks for reviewing I'm out of this world happy that you did!

 **Calcu22:** Hueueueueue Just wait I have another fanfiction explaining how I feel or how I think other characters fell over the course of Naruto (shippuden) and let me just say it is depressing. But yeah I feel super bad for the guy because he and multiple other characters have clear signs or PTSD and Depression (as seen by the level of dissociating they do) and a lot of other issues. You will see more sides of Orochi-chan in other chapters! Seika will be Itachi's older sister! Currently the shinobi are gearing up for the 3rd great shinobi war! So Seika is born before it even starts but just barely! Thanks so much for reviewing! Seriously reviews are the only thing that motivate me!

 **LotusBlossomGenie:** I'm so glad you enjoyed their interaction! I really like Orochimaru as a character and I don't like when other authors use him as any generic ol' bad guy like fukin shit my dudes their's always more to the story. But also he is A+ villain material and I love how evil he is! So even if you like him now be warned about gore later on! Thanks for reviewing you are literally the reason I roll out of bed in the morning!

 **IllogicalMinds** : Honestly same my dude/person/dudette Like is Mikoto not going to give birth to Itachi bc Seika gives her to many heart attacks? will Fugu-face die because I don't like him? will I continue with a regular update schedule? I don't know~ Thanks for reviewing you're the best!

 **faaallenangel:** Well my dude/person/dudette let me tell you a great thing I updated! I know I suprised myself! AAAAAAAAAAAAAWAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW thanks person! I'm so glad my character isn't a turn off for people bc I was so worried about that you don't even know. THANKS FOR REVIEWING MY MAIN!

 **PLEASE REVIEW IF YOU LIKED THIS I NEED FEEDBACK AND A REASON TO WRITE THANKS!**


	5. goodbye

Hi everyone this update is to tell you I am committing suicide, right now. I have taken a poisonous substance and hopefully I won't be alive for long. Sorry I won't be able to finish these stories. If anyone wants to adopt them please feel free. If you want any of the extensive notes I have on all of these stories please email theglowcloud13 gmail. com  and hopefully one of my family members will be kind enough to email you my notes. I'm sorry I'm not strong enough to continue. This story was my baby, I loved it so much. This is my biggest regret, not finishing this. I had everything planned out even who she would get married to and how she would save the world with her little sunshine Naruto. I'm sorry. Goodbye.


End file.
